to go a little more deeper into my thoughts, i've really been challenged to discover what makes my relationship with God the best and most close. i have given up on a lot of things that i did in the past; things that i never really felt any connection with. for example, reading my bible, praying, and singing cliche worship songs that all have the same words and no originality. some people's jaw may drop and think 'well how on earth are you 'being a Christian?' the thing is, my mind has broadened and my perspective on prayer and worship has changed. i grew up thinking you had to talk to God in order to pray, and worship was only singing in your church, and church was only in the building labeled "Church". but i really don't think any of that is true at all. church can be anywhere you want it to be and it can be with 4 people, 40 people, or even just yourself. you can pray and worship however the hell you want to [just do what makes you feel good about it]. if going for a bike ride is what soothes your soul and brings you closer to God, then go for a bike ride. if you don't want to go to church anymore because they condemn homosexuals and you think that is wrong, then stop going to that church. do what YOU feel is right, not what other people tell you is right. after all, it's YOUR relationship with God, not anyone else's.
honestly, one of my biggest struggles is that i'm just completely lost. there really is no way for me to even describe my feelings because i don't even know what i feel. i'm trying to discover how i best communicate with God and also i'm trying to share my thoughts with my husband [who has his own opinions about this as well] but it's hard to share when i don't even know what to say. it's also a struggle knowing that my husband and i are most likely in different places with God, and how i deeply i long for us to be in the same place together but that might not ever even happen.
anyways, that's all of my thoughts for now. but i'll leave you with two pictures of me and jacob [one from our anniversary at the dunes and one from a rainy walk]. because who likes blog posts without pictures?! no one!
<3 To make you feel better, my hubby and I aren't in the same place either--It might seem like it but we're very different. You know where I stand with "God" now but continue searching and broadening your mind with and for God. NO ONE knows the answers but that's the fun part of life, isn't it? Loved reading your thoughts. Just live your life with love, compassion and peace! <3 <3 Love ya, girlie.
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ReplyDeleteTo my most awesome daughter. The only advice I can give (I hope I can still do that?) Is to be silent and listen. The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can't tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can't explain how people are born of the Spirit. Love you more than you know! :-)
ReplyDeleteI just read your blog and it touches me. I grew up thinking only God was in church and that's where I had to be to pray, sing and worship. As I got older I asked many questions and got my answers. God, as I know God is my personal business. I love to pray at my quiet times. God knows what I need even before I do. Grampa and I are in different spiritual places but it's OK. I have compared other religions and visited many churches. My favorite thing to do when I traveled, was to visit churches during the day. I loved to sit and listen to the peace. However, I can find that same peace by sitting quietly, eyes closed and meditate. Bekah, it's OK to be open to all thoughts. Only you know where you stand with God. Love you, Gramma
ReplyDeleteI just read your blog and it touches me. I grew up thinking only God was in church and that's where I had to be to pray, sing and worship. As I got older I asked many questions and got my answers. God, as I know God is my personal business. I love to pray at my quiet times. God knows what I need even before I do. Grampa and I are in different spiritual places but it's OK. I have compared other religions and visited many churches. My favorite thing to do when I traveled, was to visit churches during the day. I loved to sit and listen to the peace. However, I can find that same peace by sitting quietly, eyes closed and meditate. Bekah, it's OK to be open to all thoughts. Only you know where you stand with God. Love you, Gramma
ReplyDelete